Leaders of the Free World

Successful?

Have you ever seen a slim, fit, athletic manager, executive or director? Me neither. Have a good look around – news articles in the paper, online, always with a photo of ‘some’ CEO who just closed a big deal, no need to ask who ate all the pies.

And there it is, you’re that much of a success that you don’t have time to eat properly, exercise or get a ray of sunshine during the day? I think someone should evaluate how loosely we use the term ‘success’.

The corporate ladder is a funny one, its own little world. You’re a team player, a company man.

In my previous job, my next step up in a few years would have been a project manager; making the tough calls, running the job, reporting to my bosses about the project cash-flow, and ultimately being the first in line to be shot. Inspirational stuff.

Before I entered the working world, I decided I’d like to be a project manager – all that control, looking after the job, the smooth operation of things. I was quick to discover that it meant excessive responsibility, living the job, no time off and in the end devoting your life to the company and project.

I’ll harp on about this, because I am so perplexed that someone who’s supposedly been educated can become so brainwashed and removed from reality. To be honest, I’m also so passionate about this work/life conundrum because I used to be so hell bent on a career path.

You’re special!

Working within a company structure, you’d be surprised to find that you’re just another name in an organisational chart, replaceable and interchangeable. The further you travel up the company ladder, the harder it will be to climb back down.

Now a lot of the guys I used to work with out on the construction sites were a good bunch of guys, but picture your typical construction workers. Not the healthiest brood around, it was the norm, work 11 hours, shovel in a couple of pies during the day and then head to the pub at night time, repeat. It was a social norm that most of the older hands were on heart medication, blood pressure tablets, and cholesterol medication. Not once was the thought to exercise, eat well and have a break from work. People (management, workers, anyone) are willing to put their own health and safety before stepping back and taking the pedal off the gas?

If you remember way back when you first enrolled in the joys of the working world, you worked to live, not the other way around. It will all become a grey mash-up of job/career/life/work. You stupid JERLK.

The ‘career’ might be fit for some of us, if you enjoy the job then why not. But if you want to climb the corporate ladder then don’t worry about the MBA or extra-curricular study, here’s an easy how-to;

• Carry several documents under one arm when walking through the office,
• Look slightly angry around the office, people will think you’re busy,
• If you work in front of a computer, shake your head a lot, the odd fist slamming against your desk won’t hurt,
• Casually greeting your bosses doesn’t hurt, a bit of bravado and confidence will get you everywhere,
• Most superiors/managers/executives are hot air factories, say yes a lot and stroke their ego’s,
• Don’t get caught playing solitaire too much,
• Learn a few ‘office buzzwords’ Refer to Corporate Fluff for the game ‘Wank-word Bingo’.

So there you have it, you could be a manager in no time at all. One thing that I won’t be forgetting too soon is the conversation I had with one of my managers when I resigned. A human resources ‘manager’ was also present. After explaining how I wanted to take a brief sabbatical from the working world, explore my options, maybe travel a bit etc. the HR manager present offered me counselling sessions! So the concept of taking an extended break from work is that far removed from the corporate world psych that I probably have a screw loose?

God help us all.